A Light That Shines

As I sat here this morning watching the sun bring the day to life, I just couldn't help but feel the closeness of God with me. No matter what comes our way in this life, no matter how difficult, or bad, there is always a light that shines on us that is beyond our understanding. It is always there, a constant that you can't help but be drawn too. It is a peace that passes all understanding and it is a steadfast belief that God is still watching over all of us.....including me....this tiny speck in the universe!

The Wonder of Sunrise!

This morning we got up before daylight, just to watch the dawn over our beautiful Lake Mead here in Nevada. For all the years I have lived in Las Vegas I had never watched the sunrise over our lake. But today I rolled out of bed, packed up the chihuahua and off we went into the pitch blackness of the Nevada desert.

By the time we got to the lake...there was an orange glow in the distance. Beyond the ridge that I was standing on were two coyotes, frolicking and playing together. Behind me I could hear the relentless howl of another group of coyotes as they seemed to be welcoming the dawn. A lone hawk skimmed the water's edge looking for fish....and the bats swooped past me as they ate their final meals of mosquitos before retiring to a cave somewhere to sleep the day away. It was beautiful this morning. A sweet peace and solitude that soothed the soul and filled my mind with graditude for the moment and a graditude for being alive and being a small speck in God's universe. It was good to experience the wonder of this sunrise.....and I will do it again.

Alone

Yesterday we took a drive to Lake Mead here in Nevada.

I love alone moments. Yesterday I sat down on that rock to enjoy looking at the waters of the lake and to simply enjoy the quietness and solitude of the place. The wind was brisking past my ears and tossing my hair in many directions, but I didn't care, I liked it! I love the wind and I love the open spaces of the Nevada desert. I most importantly enjoy moments of alone time. One is their own BEST company when they spend time alone. I like to be alone no matter what my mood, whether I am happy or sad. When one is alone they have time to think, meditate, to thank God for their life, and to appreciate going back to civilization and the chaos that it brings.

Each of us should get out there away from it all and be alone for awhile. You just might enjoy the company you are in when you do!

Have You Ever Wondered?

Have you ever wondered strange things? Like tonite. I'm watching a rare desert drenching downpour of rain from my kitchen window. Toward the mountain there was clear blue sky, but directly over where I live the clouds were dark and the rain came down in buckets. The rain got me to wondering. I think it's amazing how clouds and conditions can create rain in the sky that falls, even when it pours so hard, that it falls in such a way that it doesn't hurt anyone. Sure, here in the desert we get street flooding. After all, our ground is dry, rock hard from lack of rain. So when it rains it doesn't immediately soak in, it floods. How masterful God is to create the clean soothing rainfall so that it comes to us in such a way that it isn't harmful. What if the rain came down in one large chunk, or cube, or a large heavy sheet? It would damage everything from buildings to cars to even hurt the people who had the misfortune to be out in it. How great our God is to send this soothing balm to us in drops, no matter what the size...so we can enjoy watching it fall from our kitchen windows and smell the sweet aftermath among the grasses and flowers!

The Only Thing Constant

Anymore you turn on the television and all you hear is the word 'change'. You hear Obama preaching it. You hear McCain swearing that he will change things and that he is not like Bush. Change, change, change! Do you believe it? Do you believe them? Personally whenever I hear one of them spouting the 'C' word, I 'change' the channel! That's my kind of way of making 'change' happen! But, in all seriousness, there is another kind of change that goes on in our lives. That 'change' IS our lives. Think about it, especially if you are a mother like I am. You carry your baby within you for nine months. You feel him or her grow, move, and change with each passing month. Then you have your baby and your life does a complete change. It is no longer about you. Personal selfishness cast aside, it becomes all about the baby 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for the next eighteen years! You are responsible for another human being. It is a huge undertaking, whether we realize it as young mothers or not, to have a baby is a life changing experience! And you go through all of the phases, from terrible twos, to tweens and teens, to report cards and homework, and learning to grow within a household. You cook for them, clean for them, and watch their sizes get bigger as they grow from year to year. You watch your baby's face grow from babyhood to manhood (or womanhood) right before your eyes. The baby you once held is now making his/her own decisions on their life and even though you still cling to that baby within, you realize that when your child grows up that it is such a huge change, that you must find yourself changing and adapting to it as well. And that's the hard part. You cry often and reminiss about sweet memories. You wish that you could change the years back, although you know that you can't. Things change. Children grow up. You grow older. Life moves on in a consistent manner. Life changes. A person needs to find a way to be ready for it. And it's certainly not easy by any means. When you see your child leave home and you know that the next time you see them, he/she will be a different person, you find yourself weeping on your pillow at night and remembering that baby you once held so tiny and small in your arms is now making his way in the world. You have to realize that just as you left to find your way, so must your children, and geeze, when you love, it's so difficult. But, if you can find it in your heart to let go alittle and still love alot, then you will make it through this change and both you and your child will be all the better for it. Don't think for one second that your child doesn't love you because he/she is moving into their own life. It is because of you and the way that you brought them up that they probably love you even more at this time of their life than you even realize. So to that I say, try to adjust to the changes that come your way. They are constant and they aren't going to go away somewhere. You can't go back to what once was, so you must make a point to make what is, even better. Change is constant and so can your love be!

Emotional Pain

Have you ever been in emotional pain? I don't mean necessarily
'being' emotional, rather, I mean feeling so bad inside that you find that you are truly broken hearted. Maybe you have someone to turn to who will listen and understand and make you feel better. I believe though, that many people who are in emotional pain suffer alone within the core of their being. Maybe they don't even know why they are in such pain. It could very well be difficult to describe.

Right now, I am in deep pain. I can't control my bouts of sobbing tears and I can't seem to move past this broken hearted feeling. I have alot going on in my life. I have a biopsy awaiting me of my thyroid. I worry about money. I have an issue at work that is truly terrible, that I can't even go into here. But above all this I am in great pain over the situation known as the empty nest. My son left for Boot Camp yesterday. He is 23 years old and a man and deserves his own life. But he is still my child and in my heart he always will be. I am in Las Vegas and he is now in Illinois. I look outside and see his truck sitting here. I see his empty bedroom and his kitty Shifty who wanders around looking for him. I know that being in the Navy will be a great experience for him and they will put him through school and he will not face the burdeon of a student loan to pay off, like I have to at the age of 54. But I'm broken hearted and I miss my son so bad. And I don't know how to cope with these roller coaster feelings. I know that we will get to see him in about eight weeks, but that's not helping me now. It's not helping me at all. I miss his voice, his presence, his dirty laundry all over the place. I miss cooking for him and hearing him say, "I love you, Mom," as he goes off to be with his girlfriend.

This is all so difficult for me, and I don't know how to ease the pain in my heart. Somehow I will get through this, just as he will get through Boot Camp....one difficult moment at a time, I guess.

The Ability to "Receive"

I don't know what kind of person you are, but I am one who enjoys giving. Even though I don't have much, monitarily, I have a big heart that I try to give away each and every day to someone, through a kind word of encouragement or praise. Everyone loves to receive a compliment or a kind word, and it's truly amazing the way you can change a person's day and even life by simply being kind.

Well, I found this photograph of an old church. It has obviously lived out it's better days and is now in a state of decline and abandonment. Surrounded by a thicket of overgrowth and lost pathways, I look at this photograph and try to envision what it must have been like during it's hayday. I can almost hear the preacher as he stands with firmness and clarity at his podium on his platform, with a small choir behind him, "You must be givers, just as God wants you to be. Give to the poor. Give to the needy. Give to your neighbor, so that God may reward you in His time."

What a wonderful notion to be a giver. To feel that great feeling of appreciation when doing something for someone else. It's what I enjoy doing. Maybe I'm selfish, because I like the way I feel when I give to others.

But every so often I have to learn a lesson about giving. Now what lesson could be learned by giving? Well, that lesson is that every once in awhile I must step back and allow someone else to give and that I must receive.

How do you feel when you receive? Do you like to get what you can get? Or, do you feel uncomfortable, or maybe even that you must immediately out give your giver? All of this giving stuff can get quite complicated if we don't realize a few simple things.

It is of great importance that we all take a moment and step back and realize that if someone wants to give us something, we must be gracious, accepting, kind and sincere. If we go into receiving with the wrong attitude we could very well rob the giver of the blessing that they so deserve by their kind and generous act. Sometimes the best thing that we can do for the giver is to tell them 'thank you' and to truly mean it from one's heart. If we cannot learn to occassionally be the receiver then truly what is the quality of our very own giving?

Think about it. And the next time someone does a kindness for you, look them in the eye, if you can or send them an email and tell them with every ounce of graciousness and appreciation that you can, "Thank you!"

Sisters

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the Responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her Glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.' 'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.' What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!' But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned: THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT......... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are betw een you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did. Short and very sweet: There are more than twenty angels in this world. Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds. Nine are playing. And one is reading her email at this moment. AUTOHOR UNKNOWN

Portrait of a Hero

His name is Javier and he is a parachuter for the United States Army. A native Puerto Rican and full of pride for his home and all of America, Javier joined the military and was called to serve in Iraq. While on a mission with two of his comrads in November of 2007 there was an explosion. The blast was so severe that it took the lives of both his fellow troops and severely burned Javier. As you can see, Javier has suffered greatly as a result of this tragic day in Iraq. He received the Purple Heart for his efforts in the fight for freedom and has spent much of his life since in the hospital with surgeries and skin grafts. Javier is by no means out of the woods. He has months and months of continued medical care ahead of him, not to mention pain and suffering. Javier has lost his ears, part of his fingers, and needs extensive medical treatment. This is no cake walk for this brave military man of the ripe old age of twenty one. Yet, without reserve or hesitation, Javier wants to recover sufficently so that one day if it is necessary he can return to Iraq or to active duty and continue his mission with the Army. He doesn't want pity from anyone and has made that clear to his family and friends.

When I heard about Javier and saw his photographs I broke down and cried. I've never met Javier and probably never will. Yet I feel like I have known him and all of the troops in my heart for a very long time. I am a mother and a grandmother, and we have big hearts for all of our youth wherevever they may be and whoever they may belong too. So I cried for Javier, but then I realized something. Javier doesn't want my tears. He doesn't want anyone's tears. He wants to pick himself up, get himself well, and do what he loves in this life to be in service to others. Javier IS a hero in every sense of the word and more.

When I look into Javier's eyes I see a pride that gleams out and shines across the universe. I see a human being that truly has a great love for all, his country, the world, and all people. I'm glad that Javier's life has touched mine, even though we have never met. He is a hero to me and I could not be more proud of him. God Bless you, Javier. You are the very BEST of the BEST!

Snow in Vegas

It feels like yesterday I was taking pictures on this snowy day in Vegas. As my son builds a miniture snowman on the top of my old car, I can't help but enjoy the pleasent change of weather. The snow is all too quick to melt away and it doesn't snow very often here, so this was a good day indeed to appreciate the season's changing.

The Sand Boat

Many years ago when I was a child, life was very difficult. I was beaten nearly every day of my young life, until I left home at the age of fourteen. There was not much reason to have fun in those days. We were pretty much slaves to farm work and spent long days in fields or tending the livestock. It was a really rough time in not only my life but that of my five siblings. We didn't have much time for fun, but I do remember that we got to join 4-H. One of my projects was photography. In those days black and white pictures were the norm. One day my step dad decided to put up a swing set and a sandbox for us. The sandbox was not your traditional one, rather, it was an old row boat. It was on an innocent summer afternoon before the abuser came home from the factory that we would steal away time and play in the sandboat. I remember to this day taking this photograph of my brother, Willie. I miss him so much. Our lives have been lived seperately because I left home so young and because he stayed behind and took the abuse. From what little I know about him, he has grown to become an abuser as well, including physical and substaince. The sins of the father are revisited.....but forever I will remember him in this moment. I will remember his innocence and how sweet he was as a little boy and as my brother. I've tried writing to him, but he never answered. Perhaps too many years have gone by and perhaps he is not the sweet innocent that I remember. May God have mercy on the evil soul that ruined all of us....and I hope to this day that Willie will know somewhere across this expanse of space that seperates us just how much I still love him to this very day.

On the way out of work today a coworker gave me a pack of pop tarts, strawberry. I haven't had pop tarts in a very long time, but I was feeling alittle hungry, so I said, "sure, I'd love some."

As I was driving home I decided to open the pop tarts and eat them.

Much to my surprise, I was amazed by the 'flavor' of them. I mean, you could even taste the sprinkles on top! And the crust tasted like a cookie, and the filling, it was oh so yummy!

All of this attention over these pop tarts got me to thinking about foods, and eating and the 'flavor' of things. I can't really remember the last time that I took the time to enjoy the flavor of what I was eating...and that's kind of sad, if you think about it.

When was the last time you really enjoyed the 'flavor' of your food? The 'flavor' of your life? The 'flavor' of everything around you? Let's explore 'flavor'.

I don't know why, but by my simply eating these pop tarts I gained an entire new appreciation for food and how it tastes....and I don't want to just shove something in anymore, because I'm hungry. I want to enjoy the flavor of each and every bite!

As for my life.....despite my health problems.....I'm really glad to be me. Despite my weight, I'm glad to be me. I like the flavor of my life and am thankful that it's a good one.

Now what about you?......what do you think about the flavors of your life?

It's no secret what's wrong with America!

Yesterday while driving home from the movies I couldn't help but notice the new construction at the northern end of the Las Vegas Strip. After all the highway that I was on ran right past the massive new Trump tower and the Wynn and the Encore Hotels and Resorts. As I took in the view I had a very distinct feeling of shame for what I saw. Now why should I, or anyone for that matter, feel shame when looking at the impressive Las Vegas skyline with it's massive hotels reaching to the sky? Well it's like this....to see such amazing multi billion dollar resorts like these made me realize just how small and poor and insignificant I was in comparrison. In that moment I felt the disparity between those that 'have' and those that 'have not'. I felt poor in comparrison. My little retail job will never afford me so much as one single night in those luxurious hotels...and I wondered what it would be like to have so much money that I wouldn't think twice about staying at either place for a week, or two or more, and slapping down the cash for my stay.

As I drove past these hotels and back to the reality of the neighborhoods of Las Vegas I saw many homes and apartments, and people just like me walking down the sidewalks. I saw the 'un-rich' the 'every day folk'....the people that we would call the 'have nots'.

It was then that I truly realized what was wrong with this country. There is a vast divide between those that have money and those that struggle just to pay the rent...and I sensed a deep black canyon in between.

I guess it would be really cool to be rich. To have what the Trumps and the Wynns of the world have. But then I realized that to have all of that could be a far more unsatisfying life than the life I am living as a 'have not'. I cannot imagine the pain and misery that comes from having endless wealth and I don't think that I would want too, because there must be some very lonely moments at the 'top.'

I realized that with such a disparity between the rich and poor that America as a whole will never be living up to it's greatest potential. We will always have the homeless on the street and the snobs in high rises that wouldn't even give them a second glance. We will have those who are ill and will die because they can't afford to be treated for the simplest of afflictions, and there will be others who go to the Dr. because their botox has worn out.

Until those that have, truly quit building enormous skyscrapers and monuments to their own egos and wealth we will all be a poor nation, just in different ways....and that, my friend is what is wrong with America!

Survival of the Fittest?

Tonite I was watching a program about sharks on the Discovery Channel. Sure, we've all probably seen many many programs about sharks in our day....and tonite I was thinking about how the creatures of the ocean truly have to be on guard at every moment. It's absolutely 'survival of the fittest' in the sea, and with 70% of the Earth covered in ocean, one would figure that there were alot of hiding places. As I was watching this program I began to feel pain inside. Why? Because we who live on solid ground live much like the creatures of the ocean. Just turn on the evening news and see how depressed you get....a child found murdered, a woman missing, another innocent American death in Iraq. You can barely go out your front door anymore for the danger that awaits in every corner of America. Just don't look at someone wrong, you might get shot to death. Don't cut someone off on the road.....be careful and be aware of your surroundings, for you could get mugged and robbed at any moment. Truly there is nowhere safe anymore, neither under the sea or above it. Survival of the fittest doesn't only pertain to our vast oceans, it pertains to you and me each and every moment of our lives. How will you survive? Will you survive with dignity and respect? Or will you secumb to the pressures of today? Will you be the one inflicting harm....or will you be the one who lifts up? You have to make the choice. "Survival of the fittest" does not mean that you have to be the baddest of the bad. Perhaps it means you are the 'goodest of the good.' Think about it.

This Place I Love! The Kenai, Alaska Bluff (March 1997)

I love to sit in the tall grasses that blanket the bluff's edge...as they, in comfort, welcome the wondrous Kenai River below me. I feel my spirit come to life at this gentle, calming place, and I cherish the moment. I watch the Beluga whales as their snow-white silhouette's ripple the artic water on their journey up river to feast. I want to be the cool Alaskan breeze as they take each breath! I want to be the chatter of the sea gulls and the hum in the motors of the tiny fishing boats that bring this grand river to life. I want to be the wind that caresses this soothing mantle of green as it mesmerizes every thread of my being. I want to be the crisp clean air as the bald eagles seem to glide through it at the bluff's edge with such effortless majesty. I want to be the awe that I feel when I see them. I want to be the feeling that I get when I wave to a low flying bush pilot as he tips the wings of his little float plane as his way of wavying back to me. There are no strangers in this great land! In the stillness of these soft meadowy grasses I have never felt more alive. As the coolness of the afternoon breeze blushes against my cheeks, everything that is in me awakens. I feel contentment and peace. The perfect harmony between nature and humanity is reborn. Gone are the past hurts and disappointments. Gone are the trials that we call 'life'. All that remains is the clear knowledge that all is well with my soul. All is well because I am here at this place I love!

A Message from Beyond

This is a story about my friend Sue. She passed away just a few days ago. We were very close. She carried a cell phone at work and instead of a ring on the phone, when it went off, it sounded like a flock of birds. We were all amused by it. Sue also had a song that she would sing, off key of course, about flying birds flying over the ocean.

On the day that Sue passed a coworker and I were talking about her and about how her phone sounded like a flock of birds and that we would miss that. We got a couple of customers and went back to work, when all of a sudden there was the loudest bird call from across the store. My coworker looked at me and said, "Did you hear that?" I said, "Yes, it sounded like birds." We were both alittle freaked out....when a few moments later it happened again VERY loud. As it turned out it was a customer making bird sounds, but we both knew that it was Sue letting us know that she was alright. Even though we've shed alot of tears, we had a peace in our hearts about hearing that loud bird call, because only Sue would do that for us.

This morning I went shopping for groceries on the Military Base here. I knew that it would be difficult for me to shop today because I often ran into Sue on base. As I was driving toward the exit of the base after shopping the most bizarre thing happened. Right in front of me, a pair of Canadian Geese flew side by side right in front of me! Mind you, I am a native Las Vegan and I have NEVER seen Canadian Geese here, ever. I've seen the snow geese on their migration, but I have never seen Canadian Geese, let alone only two of them.

I knew immediately that Sue sent these birds for me to see....to let me know that our friendship still mattered and that she was safe and well on the other side. After the geese flew past me, I turned to see where they were going and they were GONE!

A Tough Pill To Swallow

On March 19, 2008 life kicked me right in the teeth when my BEST friend and coworker, Sue passed away suddenly at home. Sue was only 52 and suffered from serious diabetes and congestive Heart failure. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the announcement that she was gone. I have worked next to Sue for several years....just a couple of feet away from each other. She was my friend at work and away from work through emails and phone calls. Sue was well LOVED by everyone at my store. She had a way of saying things exactly as she saw them, and didn't mince words. She was caring and compassionate. She fed the homeless nearly every day and often helped out other coworkers that needed a ride or a few bucks. She was the funniest person I ever met. She and I would often sing the Bad Boys song when the police would come in to deal with a shoplifter and the officers would just look and laugh because our singing was so bad. But it was fun just the same. Sue was my one and only true true friend here in Las Vegas where I live. When I was in the hospital recently, she called me every day. She looked after my needs, bringing me things to wash my glasses and sometimes a diet tea or an extra magazine she got. She made working fun every moment she was there. I will miss her for the rest of my life. Death of someone close has got to be the toughest pill that anyone has ever had to swallow. Even though I completely believe that she is in a better place, it still doesn't make things easy. Rest in Peace dear friend........

Childhood Dreams and Queen Anne's Lace

When I was a little girl there were no Nintendos, Play Stations or DVD players. As a matter of fact there wasn't even color tv, if you can imagine that! I lived on a farm until I left at the age of 14. Many of the toys I played with came from using my own imagination and it wasn't uncommon to create toys from whatever there happened to be around me at the moment.

One of my favorite imaginary toys was to gather boquets of Queen Anne's Lace from along a newly mown hay field and to pretend that these beautiful, dainty flowers, if turned upside down, would become elegant ladies in frilly gowns at the most amazing gala events imaginable.

There was always so much hard work to do on a farm that play time became precious innocent moments that were few and far between....but I cherished those times. Playing with my beautiful ladies made of Queen Anne's Lace, I could let my mind wander to places that I could only dream of; Paris, London, Rome. I imagined being one of those ladies at a gala event and finding my Prince Charming gazing at me from across the ballroom. Our eyes would meet and he would sweep me off my feet in my beautiful gown made of Queen Anne's Lace, and I would no longer be a little child working hard on a farm, but rather, a woman with a dream life of wealth and happiness ahead of her.

Childhood dreams and Queen Anne's Lace.....I'll never forget those precious childhood moments.....for they were so few and far between.

written by Heart
February 24th, 2008

Stilettos, Red Lips and Cigarettes

Crossing her leg at the barstool as her sultry black stiletto dangles seductively away from her heel, she lights up another cigarette and draws it closely to her ruby red lips. Inhaling the first long breath into her lungs and watching the smoke exhale into little ringlets in front of her face, she is as if in a daze, in a world of her own, oblivious to the fact that every eye in the place is on her. Yet she doesn't notice. She is a glamorous beauty of her day, a divine creature to behold, the most desired of all of the women in the entire room.

But then something happened.

Many years passed. Perhaps fourty.

Now she is old.

The stilettos have been replaced by flats. Lips are no longer adorned in color, and that cigarette which once so seductively embraced her mouth has now been replaced by the tubes of an oxygen tank shoved up her nostrills. No longer does the cigarette smoke dance in ringlets about her sultry face. Gone are those days. Her face has now become wrinkled, dry, and old. Beauty has gone. Image is no longer what matters. Now it's more about staying alive and about catching each breath, each and every one. Breathing was taken for granted before, now it is the the most important thing to do every day, just to be able to breathe.

I wonder if she knew back then as she was smoking and sitting at the bar stool that one day she would be in a hospital bed stricken with a smoking related disease called Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or COPD.

She's not so pretty anymore. Her quality of life has changed forever. One would even question if she had a quality of life at all anymore. She is an example of beauty gone bad and of a life ravaged and dying because she chose to smoke.

Hold your breath for a moment....just a moment.....and you will feel for just that moment what it feels like for her every moment of every day....as she struggles for each breath...each and every single breath....

It makes one wonder if those days of beauty gone by were ever worth it? Stilettos, red lips and cigarettes.......

written by Heart

February 22, 2oo8

Recently I spent some time in the hospital with the flu. In the bed next to me was a lovely older woman. She was suffering from COPD, and I do mean suffering. Chronic Obstructive Pulminary Disease is no walk in the park. She was struggling for every breath, coughing relentlessly, and had a permanet wraspyness to her voice. When I first lay eyes on her, I immediately got a vision of her in her younger days. She had beautiful eyes still, and I imagined them lush with deep dark mascarra. I saw her cheeks soft pink and filled with blush. Her eyes had a sort of Casablanca gaze about them, a sort of "play it again, Sam" kind of glance....her lips were adorned with the thick red lipstick of the day and her fingernails polished bright and red. She would be every man's glamour girl of her day back then. But now she is struggling for each breath. I saw a message in this beautiful woman's life. The message I saw was to tell everyone I could that if you smoke you might face this same fate. You take your very life in your own hands when you light up a cigarette....and if anything you are actually 'taking your own life' a slow but for sure suicide. I want you to think about smoking. Think about your future and what lies ahead. Do you want to be lying in a hospital bed struggling for your every breath? Before my bed mate was discharged from the hospital, I told her just how sorry I felt for all that she was going through. She looked at me and smiled, and said, "I brought this on myself and now I must make the best of what I've got." Kind of sad, but also true....

Does it matter?

In what appears to be a private moment, although I doubt there are many for a politician, OBama gets ready to light up a cigarette. One would almost say that smoking a cig with one of his Campaigne Aids is 'no big deal'. But on a second glance, isn't it? OBama wants to be President of the Untited States and to lead our country to better health and well-being with his plan for health care. Yet, at the same time, he quietly engages in one of the worst things a human being can do to their body, he SMOKES! I find it a bit disturbing because it makes me wonder just what else he may do or say that would not meet with the approval of the voters. Privately lighting up with an aid may be perfectly legal, but isn't it a bit hypocritical? Does it matter whether or not Obama smokes? Maybe not. But the fact that he smokes and the fact that he seems to be doing it away from the eyes of the public seems a bit deceptive to me. And then to go out on the Campaigne trail and preach of health care when he is harming his own health. What else does he do in private that may not rest well with voters? Even more so what else is he 'capable of'? America needs to wake up about this guy. Snake oil salesmen still exsist and what he does, DOES matter!