Emotional Pain

Have you ever been in emotional pain? I don't mean necessarily
'being' emotional, rather, I mean feeling so bad inside that you find that you are truly broken hearted. Maybe you have someone to turn to who will listen and understand and make you feel better. I believe though, that many people who are in emotional pain suffer alone within the core of their being. Maybe they don't even know why they are in such pain. It could very well be difficult to describe.

Right now, I am in deep pain. I can't control my bouts of sobbing tears and I can't seem to move past this broken hearted feeling. I have alot going on in my life. I have a biopsy awaiting me of my thyroid. I worry about money. I have an issue at work that is truly terrible, that I can't even go into here. But above all this I am in great pain over the situation known as the empty nest. My son left for Boot Camp yesterday. He is 23 years old and a man and deserves his own life. But he is still my child and in my heart he always will be. I am in Las Vegas and he is now in Illinois. I look outside and see his truck sitting here. I see his empty bedroom and his kitty Shifty who wanders around looking for him. I know that being in the Navy will be a great experience for him and they will put him through school and he will not face the burdeon of a student loan to pay off, like I have to at the age of 54. But I'm broken hearted and I miss my son so bad. And I don't know how to cope with these roller coaster feelings. I know that we will get to see him in about eight weeks, but that's not helping me now. It's not helping me at all. I miss his voice, his presence, his dirty laundry all over the place. I miss cooking for him and hearing him say, "I love you, Mom," as he goes off to be with his girlfriend.

This is all so difficult for me, and I don't know how to ease the pain in my heart. Somehow I will get through this, just as he will get through Boot Camp....one difficult moment at a time, I guess.